Preparations are fully underway! We are pretty much all packed up - we need to get our suitcases weighed so that we can make sure we are under the 50 lb mark before we get to the airport. The house is on its way to being ready for our return home. Even though we are kind of ahead of schedule at this point, I definitely get moments of panic. It's been helpful to have stuff to do because when I'm not doing something, my thoughts are everywhere and my emotions are so wound tight and on the brink of spilling over. But, I would say, overall I am doing pretty well and Nate is the same steady rock that he always is...so thankful for that.
We wanted to take a moment to explain a few things about what you can expect when we get back. We know that so many people are so excited for us and are so excited to meet Levi. Many of you have walked with us along this journey from day one and have shared so much with us along the way. I have thought a lot about the past year or so and all the moments in between as we have waited for this special time...in some ways it seems just a short while ago that I started this blog to record the journey and in other ways, it seems like ages ago. Time is a funny thing...
But, I digress...
Adoption brings with it some unique challenges, especially in regards to attachment, as I am sure you have heard us mention one time or another. This is something we have spent a lot of time researching, discussing, processing, and praying about and is something we strongly believe is in our family's best interest.
The most important thing is that Levi recognizes that we (Nate and Shanna) are his parents. To that end, Nate and I will be the only one’s responding to his basic needs, meaning we will be taking care of all of his feedings, diaper changes, response to his cries, etc. This will develop his trust that people (Nate and I) do respond to his needs and that his needs are worthy of being met. In the orphanages, many times infants do not get the responsive care that infants need and they begin to lose trust in others to respond to them. When this happens, they become despondent and as self-reliant as they can be because they have learned that, basically, no one will respond anyway. Fortunately, Levi is still fairly young and it seems from what we know that he has received good care. But, it is still not the one-on-one care that most infants receive, so we are still cautious in that respect. Honestly, we don’t know how long we will need to nurture Levi in this way, so it’s more of a “wait and see” to see how he is responding to us. Hopefully the two weeks we spend in Ethiopia will help to develop these things a little more quickly, but we also know those two weeks in and of themselves will not be enough time to develop this trust...it takes time and he has and will continue to experience many changes in the coming weeks.
Secondly, we do feel it is best to slowly introduce family and friends. As he is already experiencing so many new things – daily routines and time change, different smells and sounds, different faces and loss of familiar faces – we want to gradually introduce him to the changes that we are able to control. This is one of the main reasons we decided to go a week early; he will be able to get to know us in a fairly familiar environment before we bring him home to even more changes and new things. While it is an exciting time, it is also a very difficult time of transition for our family in many ways as we help Levi get acclimated to his new home.
When we get home, we will probably be spending a few weeks pretty much at home to help with all of the adjustments. Over the next month or so, it will be important to gradually introduce Levi to his new family and friends, so we won't be having many visitors and will keep our traveling to a minimum. Again, with all of the transitions he has experienced in his short life, gradual introductions to new people and things will be most helpful to him. So, while we are excited for you to meet him, there will be plenty of time for that once we all get settled.
If you are interested in reading more about attachment in adoption: http://www.med.umn.edu/peds/iac/topics/attachment/
Again, we want to thank you all for the many ways that you have supported us throughout this journey. We ask for your prayers as we prepare to travel...for safety, for all of the transitions, for no travel complications, and just that this whole trip would be covered and surrounded by God's loving hands.
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