The Waiting List

I spoke with our case manager on Friday to try to figure out a better time frame. From what I understood, there are 12 people on the list who could take a sibling group or a single child. There are 12 more people on the list who are waiting for either a boy or girl. So, we are around 25 on the waiting list, but not necessarily everyone in front of us is waiting specifically on a baby boy. (Yes, we are on the waiting list for a single child, rather than twins. Long story...short answer.) Apparently we just beat several families who turned in their dossier just after us, so that was good to hear. She also said they were about to refer for several boys, so that will move us along pretty quickly as well. The case manager gave a time frame of receiving our referral in late summer/early fall, but she also said "I could be giving you a call next month." I would say it will be more later than earlier. We are actually happy with this time frame because if we were to get our referral any earlier, the issue with rainy season would delay our ability to get to our son as soon as possible. If we get the referral in the predicted time frame, it will be a pretty normal amount of time, rather than losing a month or two of being with our son.

My excitement and happiness is often tempered by the reality of the situation. For every child who gets referred, it is a child who has lost his family in some way or another. It is a mother and father who have lost their child. I don't want to forget that. I have been praying a lot for my son's family. Our joy and hope is another family's greatest tragedy. That's a hard pill to swallow. In my finite mind, I cannot reconcile these and struggle at times with the reality of my son's life circumstances. On the one hand, I am overjoyed at the opportunity to be his mother. On the other hand, I wonder, what would it be like to never know my mom or dad? That is a very difficult thought. But, God is infinite in His wisdom and has known that two worlds would collide between a hopeful couple in Indiana and despairing family in Ethiopia, and I trust that God will create something beautiful out of that collision.

"Oh, the depth and the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to Him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen." Romans 11:33-36

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His lovingkindness is everlasting. Give thanks to the God of gods, for His lovingkindness is everlasting. Give thanks to the Lord of lords, for His lovingkindness is everlasting. To Him who alone does great wonders, for His lovingkindness is everlasting." (Psalm 136:1-4)