Christmas is over. Christmas is over? Oh, yes...and I am so glad. I love Christmas and all, but as Christmas approached all I could really think about is it getting over in a hurry. For me, the end of Christmas and the holiday season marked the beginning of the real wait. Usually, after Christmas, there is nothing to look forward to for quite some time. You have to kind of suffer through several months of winter blah...but oh, no...not this year!! I couldn't be more excited for this time of year to finally roll around because for me, for the past 4-5 months, it has been synonymous for me getting my son....and I can't believe we are here. I can't believe in two weeks I could actually be Levi's mommy. I can't believe in less than two months (hopefully) I'll get to hold him in my arms and breathe in the scent of him with every ounce of my being. These things I have waited for for so, so long...I just cannot believe they are just around the corner.
A couple people have asked me how I am feeling as the days approach and we are getting closer to the reality of being parents. Honestly, in so many ways, it hasn't hit us, and when I do let myself ponder that reality, it hits me like a ton of bricks. Am I ready for this? Do I know what I am getting myself into? The answer to both is probably "No." Can you ever be completely ready to parent a child? No...but if we all waited until we were perfectly ready, the earth would have a population of about zero. Do you ever completely know what to expect as you approach parenthood? No...but you can certainly prepare and read...and then I am sure you forget everything you read and your instincts just take over. But it sure makes me feel a little better preparing myself in some ways.
I am the kind of person who usually just takes things as they come, and I typically don't spend a lot of time thinking about "how it will be." Well, everything is not too far from happening, and I have found myself a little more excited, thinking a little more about it. Not that I have (or can) ignore such a big thing...but you do kind of become a little guarded with your heart after so many disappointments. Slowly, ever so slowly, the walls around my heart are being broken down...there is one handsome little man waiting for me and he is bulldozing his way into my heart...just what God had planned all along...and it's just around the corner.
You are right. There really is no way to completely prepare for parenthood; however, in His own way, God has been preparing you through the past couple of years. As you have encountered disappointments and losses, He has been shaping you into the parents Levi needs. So, be confident that He who began a good work in you will continue to work in your lives and complete what He has started!
ReplyDelete"I think you two have a lot of love to offer and that's what a baby needs and you are going to be great parents. And I am praying for you all." Love, Grandma Morin
ReplyDelete